MY LIFE AS A CRAIGSLIST TROLL
Hello, CL Rant and Ravers!
Except for that one post about the FCC (which was forwarded to me by a co-worker who regularly accesses CL RnR), I have been away all day since my first posts earlier today.
So here I am checking in at 6:30pm like I promised, and WHOA NELLY!
So many posts from people with no lives.
Where should I start?
"PEOPLE!!!! PLEASE!!! CAN WE IGNORE THIS DUMBASS VALLEY BOY!?!?!?!?!?!?"
Evidently not. You especially seem to be unable to get me out of your head... dunce.
"You’re like a naughty boy who has learned a new bad word. You beg for attention because your dad no longer cornholes you since you’re all growns up. No doubt you miss his hot whisky breath in your adolescent ear, and that’s why you’re here demanding attention. If you like, I’ll send some of the hombres from my construction company to come over and push your shit for old times sake.
Herbert Versmells"
And from the way you write, Herbert, it sounds like you are speaking from personal experience. Next?
"Heres a story, of a man named Valley
Who was bringing up the angry CLers...
All of them got all pissed off (like their mother)
and some dude got called a coward
And thats the way we bacame the Valley bunch
The Vaaaaaley bunch, the Valley bunch...
Thats the waaaaay we becaaaaame the VALLEY BUNCH!"
HA HA HA HA HA!! That was genuinely funny and creative. Obviously not written by a regular.
"Why do you care so ridiculously much what people think of you?"
I don't. Isn't it obvious that I think most people on this board are dunces? Why should I care what a dunce thinks?
"Why IS IT that you don't just break all these wacky rules and give us your real name on this anonymous board?"
I could ask the same of you. Why don't YOU give us your real name, Coward Boy?
"What does your supervisor think of you embezzling the company's resources as you pick daily fights with everyone at every chance you get?"
I forward these replies to him. He loves it. He thinks I'm a master at manipulating stupid people. He's right.
"Valley Boy, how many enemies have you amassed during your extended lifetime?"
Too many to list, and many of them far worthier opponents than you.
"Why do you continue to make trouble?"
Because I am Valley Boy.
"How is it that not everyone is bored out of their minds when it comes to your immature rants and realize that the best way to get rid of you is to IGNORE you??"
I've been asking that question for some time. You're the one who keeps this going, Coward Boy. But you won't learn your lesson, so I keep bringing it to you.
"YOU'RE ALL DUNCES!! HA HA - VALLEY BOY"
Now THAT'S a sign that you've made an impact-- when people pretend to write in your name. I wish I could take credit for that one, but I can't... although I have written posts like that many times before.
"Coward Valley Boy, your writing doth stink like a pile of rotten feet."
Right... and your prose is soooooooo much better. "A pile of rotten feet"? You really are a dunce!
"Stop with your backpedaling! I told you to either shut up and stop picking your trademark chicken-assed fights OR give up your real name.You're the one who was boasting that you "always"? use your 'handle'. So the fuck what?! Anyone can do that! Why don't you do something at least half-baked and tell us your REAL NAME?
You little coward, don't start something you won't be able to finish. I guess your poor mommy never taught you anything besides how to BEND OVER AND WHINE...."
It's not like you have given us YOUR real name. So I really don't see why I should give you mine. In terms of debating skill, you rank right up there with Forrest Gump. I make mincemeat of you in every post. And you got mad because I posted a pic of you that showed everyone what a chickenshit you are. WHY DON'T YOU ADMIT THAT YOU'RE NO MATCH FOR ME?
"Ooohhh, that Valley Boy! Gets me all hot and bothered! Oh wait, thats the clamp...crap, guess I need some new ointment! Anyway, valley boy you rock my infested world!"
Thanks. Glad to oblige.
"I COULD KILL YOU WITHOUT EVEN TRYING YOU MORON. OF COURSE YOU WOULD SAY SOMETHING ABOUT BENDING OVER BECAUSE YOU'RE SO USED TO IT. YOU'RE A DUNCE! YOU'RE ALL DUNCES!! HA HA KEEP IT COMING!-- VALLEY BOY"
Yet another person pretending to be me. I'm a bona fide sensation! Pretty soon, people will be asking for the REAL Valley Boy to please stand up. Once again, I can't take credit for something I didn't write.
"KILL YOU WITHOUT EVEN TRYING".........Cowardly Valley Boy, even for you, that's TOO LAME.You just committed a premeditation of murder or established a new low for yourself of making girlish threats against any number of people (doctors, lawyers, Indian Chiefs, police officers, and, oh yes, even career psychos) who could hunt you down to..."defend himself.
YOU ARE A WORHTLESS, PUSSY-FACED MORON.
Cowardly Valley Boy, seeing as how common sense and courtesy is totally foreign to you... FEAR really is your best friend. But I bet you're too stupid to shut up now while you still can.
SEE YOU AT THE FREE CLINIC. :)"
Like I said, I didn't write that one about killing morons. You were right, Real Coward Boy-- it's too lame a sentiment for me to have written. And you use the same jokes about free clinics as you have in other posts-- obviously, again, you speak from personal experience.
"WoW! You're getting to be a true Master of the Backpedal.........like you expect us to believe you haven't been here ALL FUCKING DAY!!!!
Now, go cry some more over your crayon-sized cock."
As this long list of replies shows, YOU have been the one on this board all day. Anyone with half a brain can see it. This reply was in response to someone else's post about the FCC and freedom of speech. Free speech means that you have a right to say what you want, no matter how stupid it is. And when it comes to stupidity, you take the cake.
"I don't know who you are, but I'm the real Valley Boy. You're nothing more than a DUNCE! Stupid, imposter DUNCE!- VALLEY BOY"
This is getting tiresome. I'd better finish this up before I stay past my work shift. But it's worth it to keep these assholes off of this board.
"To the girl seeking an abortion, YOU'RE A F-CKING DUNCE!!- Valley Boy"
If I was as low-class as them, I'd give out their real names and e-mail addresses. But instead, I'll fight them on this board until they get the hint.
I could do this all day. I type 60 wpm, so it didn't take long to compile this list. It doesn't waste company time, because I type so fast. But my bosses get a kick out of how I get so many people to reply to my posts.
By the way: anyone on CL who has ever replied to a post by "The Valley" (my original handle) knows what my real name is, because I most likely e-mailed you back with an intelligent reply. Therefore, Coward Boy, if you want my real name, why don't you write to Mark Hopkins, or any number of people who have commented positively on my posts in the past? I know why-- because you're full of shit, and yet you think you can compete with me. Dream on.
Any more takers?
Hello, CL Rant and Ravers!
Except for that one post about the FCC (which was forwarded to me by a co-worker who regularly accesses CL RnR), I have been away all day since my first posts earlier today.
So here I am checking in at 6:30pm like I promised, and WHOA NELLY!
So many posts from people with no lives.
Where should I start?
"PEOPLE!!!! PLEASE!!! CAN WE IGNORE THIS DUMBASS VALLEY BOY!?!?!?!?!?!?"
Evidently not. You especially seem to be unable to get me out of your head... dunce.
"You’re like a naughty boy who has learned a new bad word. You beg for attention because your dad no longer cornholes you since you’re all growns up. No doubt you miss his hot whisky breath in your adolescent ear, and that’s why you’re here demanding attention. If you like, I’ll send some of the hombres from my construction company to come over and push your shit for old times sake.
Herbert Versmells"
And from the way you write, Herbert, it sounds like you are speaking from personal experience. Next?
"Heres a story, of a man named Valley
Who was bringing up the angry CLers...
All of them got all pissed off (like their mother)
and some dude got called a coward
And thats the way we bacame the Valley bunch
The Vaaaaaley bunch, the Valley bunch...
Thats the waaaaay we becaaaaame the VALLEY BUNCH!"
HA HA HA HA HA!! That was genuinely funny and creative. Obviously not written by a regular.
"Why do you care so ridiculously much what people think of you?"
I don't. Isn't it obvious that I think most people on this board are dunces? Why should I care what a dunce thinks?
"Why IS IT that you don't just break all these wacky rules and give us your real name on this anonymous board?"
I could ask the same of you. Why don't YOU give us your real name, Coward Boy?
"What does your supervisor think of you embezzling the company's resources as you pick daily fights with everyone at every chance you get?"
I forward these replies to him. He loves it. He thinks I'm a master at manipulating stupid people. He's right.
"Valley Boy, how many enemies have you amassed during your extended lifetime?"
Too many to list, and many of them far worthier opponents than you.
"Why do you continue to make trouble?"
Because I am Valley Boy.
"How is it that not everyone is bored out of their minds when it comes to your immature rants and realize that the best way to get rid of you is to IGNORE you??"
I've been asking that question for some time. You're the one who keeps this going, Coward Boy. But you won't learn your lesson, so I keep bringing it to you.
"YOU'RE ALL DUNCES!! HA HA - VALLEY BOY"
Now THAT'S a sign that you've made an impact-- when people pretend to write in your name. I wish I could take credit for that one, but I can't... although I have written posts like that many times before.
"Coward Valley Boy, your writing doth stink like a pile of rotten feet."
Right... and your prose is soooooooo much better. "A pile of rotten feet"? You really are a dunce!
"Stop with your backpedaling! I told you to either shut up and stop picking your trademark chicken-assed fights OR give up your real name.You're the one who was boasting that you "always"? use your 'handle'. So the fuck what?! Anyone can do that! Why don't you do something at least half-baked and tell us your REAL NAME?
You little coward, don't start something you won't be able to finish. I guess your poor mommy never taught you anything besides how to BEND OVER AND WHINE...."
It's not like you have given us YOUR real name. So I really don't see why I should give you mine. In terms of debating skill, you rank right up there with Forrest Gump. I make mincemeat of you in every post. And you got mad because I posted a pic of you that showed everyone what a chickenshit you are. WHY DON'T YOU ADMIT THAT YOU'RE NO MATCH FOR ME?
"Ooohhh, that Valley Boy! Gets me all hot and bothered! Oh wait, thats the clamp...crap, guess I need some new ointment! Anyway, valley boy you rock my infested world!"
Thanks. Glad to oblige.
"I COULD KILL YOU WITHOUT EVEN TRYING YOU MORON. OF COURSE YOU WOULD SAY SOMETHING ABOUT BENDING OVER BECAUSE YOU'RE SO USED TO IT. YOU'RE A DUNCE! YOU'RE ALL DUNCES!! HA HA KEEP IT COMING!-- VALLEY BOY"
Yet another person pretending to be me. I'm a bona fide sensation! Pretty soon, people will be asking for the REAL Valley Boy to please stand up. Once again, I can't take credit for something I didn't write.
"KILL YOU WITHOUT EVEN TRYING".........Cowardly Valley Boy, even for you, that's TOO LAME.You just committed a premeditation of murder or established a new low for yourself of making girlish threats against any number of people (doctors, lawyers, Indian Chiefs, police officers, and, oh yes, even career psychos) who could hunt you down to..."defend himself.
YOU ARE A WORHTLESS, PUSSY-FACED MORON.
Cowardly Valley Boy, seeing as how common sense and courtesy is totally foreign to you... FEAR really is your best friend. But I bet you're too stupid to shut up now while you still can.
SEE YOU AT THE FREE CLINIC. :)"
Like I said, I didn't write that one about killing morons. You were right, Real Coward Boy-- it's too lame a sentiment for me to have written. And you use the same jokes about free clinics as you have in other posts-- obviously, again, you speak from personal experience.
"WoW! You're getting to be a true Master of the Backpedal.........like you expect us to believe you haven't been here ALL FUCKING DAY!!!!
Now, go cry some more over your crayon-sized cock."
As this long list of replies shows, YOU have been the one on this board all day. Anyone with half a brain can see it. This reply was in response to someone else's post about the FCC and freedom of speech. Free speech means that you have a right to say what you want, no matter how stupid it is. And when it comes to stupidity, you take the cake.
"I don't know who you are, but I'm the real Valley Boy. You're nothing more than a DUNCE! Stupid, imposter DUNCE!- VALLEY BOY"
This is getting tiresome. I'd better finish this up before I stay past my work shift. But it's worth it to keep these assholes off of this board.
"To the girl seeking an abortion, YOU'RE A F-CKING DUNCE!!- Valley Boy"
If I was as low-class as them, I'd give out their real names and e-mail addresses. But instead, I'll fight them on this board until they get the hint.
I could do this all day. I type 60 wpm, so it didn't take long to compile this list. It doesn't waste company time, because I type so fast. But my bosses get a kick out of how I get so many people to reply to my posts.
By the way: anyone on CL who has ever replied to a post by "The Valley" (my original handle) knows what my real name is, because I most likely e-mailed you back with an intelligent reply. Therefore, Coward Boy, if you want my real name, why don't you write to Mark Hopkins, or any number of people who have commented positively on my posts in the past? I know why-- because you're full of shit, and yet you think you can compete with me. Dream on.
Any more takers?
posted by J Drawz at
5:11 PM
